fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
