I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
