can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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