Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
