He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
