Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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