it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
