We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
