If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
