question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
