My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
