Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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