The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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