bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
