The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
