hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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