This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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