STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize