All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
