Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we should paint friendship bongs
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize