I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
