He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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