oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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