her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
