Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
