found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
