My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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