my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
