Non-Jews are for practice
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
