I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
