My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
