You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
