Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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