A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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