Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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