dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
