Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How external is "for external use only"?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize