My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
