Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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