Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
