Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize