I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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