You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
