Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
