We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I understand Curling. That high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
