OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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