I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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