your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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