some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
