i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
