I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize