so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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