i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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