our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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