Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
