I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
