We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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