Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
