i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
