There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
whose parrot is this?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
