He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
