Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
