kristin has been a bad kristin
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
