Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
