I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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