lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
