i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
