People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
