walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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