i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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