dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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