Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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