There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
