TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
