your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize