I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
