...so i touched it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
