WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
